I’m having a hard time writing and for once, I have no excuses.
It’s not that I can’t. I can. I’ve written 7 pages now of my new story. But I can’t get into it. The characters aren’t talking to me much. The world isn’t that alive. And nothing is coming out quite right.
Now, that could be because the last novel I wrote, I had been tossing around the idea for over a year before I started writing. This time, not so much. And maybe it’s because I feel rather blah myself. But whatever it is, creating this world is a lot harder.
Also, the internet is distracting me really badly. I start to write a little bit, and then, “I should go check facebook.” or “I wonder if Alyssa is on” or “I should check blog stats” All this is stupid because I have less than fiftey friends on facebook, and since it’s summer, it’s pretty inactive, Alyssa’s only on for a little bit this past week, and with an average views of less than twenty per day, I don’t even know why I try. Then, I get really distracted and I think I should go check out other sites which I told myself I wouldn’t visit, or try to find games to play or videos to watch. It’s one huge mess.
I really probably should try some kind of motivation but I don’t even know what kind of motivation I would want. Allowing myself to spend money isn’t going to help because I don’t have enough money to spend (not when I spent a hundred dollars on text books last week.) and I don’t know what I’d buy. I’m usually not someone who wants to spend money.
I wish I could make this world real to me. I really want to draw but I’ve drawn at least one picture already and nothing came to me.
Worse, I also want to write a short story. A really good short story. I’m counting on there being another writing contest this year and I want to enter it. I now have two ideas. One is a mermaid story and the other is what happens if we kill English. Random, I know, but I don’t know if I can pull off the 5 pages I must.
Nor do I have the motivation to write these either. *sigh*
So I guess it’s time to just plow thorugh it. I’m hoping by the end that I’ll love the story and the characters. I can’t waste the time if I don’t like it, but I like the concept and i’ve tended to fall in love with almost all the characters I’ve written about.
I just wish the world was more real.